Transcribed by: Sara Bankemper
Narrator: It was a normal patrol day in the EDZ. I rode my sparrow through the Outskirts towards Sojourner's Camp tracking a Fallen boss that had hit Trostland. Devrim asked me to personally track this one down for him. I immediately agreed to follow up as I had taken an interest in Niobe Labs recently. The black Armory weapon caches had always been something of interest to me for their high quality designs and consistently excellent craftsmanship. Ada-1 didn't trust most Guardians, but I had cultivated enough of a relationship with her that I was given access to some classified documents with leads on new designs which I wanted to chase. I hopped off my sparrow just short of the open encampment because I knew the Fallen liked to ambush unaware Guardians. My radar pinged to target in the distance so I pulled out Izangi's Burden and crouched behind a crate just to get a visual on what I might be chasing before clearing out the smaller Fallen on my way to the boss.
Narrator: To my surprise, the camp was quiet. I even pulled out my Ghost to scan for Marauders just in case any of them were cloaked and got nothing. So I moved up closer to the single stationary ping. My instincts told me this wasn't the boss I was hunting. Fallen Chieftains tended to have dregs around them to serve as meat shields against us. I kept my Ghost out and ready for anything because something didn't seem right. And that's when I saw him. I had worked my way to the left of the rickety makeshift bridge that led to Niobe Labs and on the other side was a single-cloaked figure sitting on the rocks overlooking the river. He just sat there with his knees pulled up to his chest and a hood over his head so I couldn't see his hair or any distinguishing features. At first, I figured it was another Hunter merely relaxing after a tough day. Maybe he was taking in the scenery and remembering old times. Who knows? He turned to his right pulling his cloak back just enough that I could see his hand reaching for his belt. It was then that his hood slipped enough that I caught a glimpse of his facial features looking through my scope. I saw his purple-hued skin and immediately recognized him as a fellow Awoken, but I couldn't feel any connection with him like my other cousins. He pulled his knife from his belt and began running it along the sharp rocks to refine its blade. After a few moments he turned toward the cliffs to his left and started climbing, and that was when his hood fell completely from his head and I caught a full look at his face.
Narrator: It was Uldren. I froze. My eyes went distant and my Ghost asked me what was wrong.
Titan: [Whispering in response] "Start recording, link into my scope and start recording."
Narrator: I refocused and began tracking Uldren up the entire face of the cliff. He climbed slowly and steadily with the sure hands and feet of a Hunter. He got to the top and moved up to the highest point where he triple-jumped up to a tree and reached for something on it.
Ghost: “But how? This can't be real.”
Narrator: I cocked my 4X Honed Edge and sighted in again. The sound of the chamber loading with a powerful four-round burst rang in my ears so strongly that I couldn't hear anything but my pulse quickening in my chest, my blood boiling in my head, and my teeth grinding in my mouth. It was so loud I thought he might hear the gun loading and run away. My palms started sweating inside my gauntlets. I suddenly had more anxiety flowing through my body than any Trials match I had ever been in. I started squeezing the grip of Izanagi so hard the rifle began shaking. If I didn't have good trigger discipline, my gun would've gone off. I thought this was over. I had done right by Cayde. I bore the mantle of revenge for Ikora and Zavala, but mostly for myself. As much as I was probably on his fire team, he was still on my fire team. I was responsible for him even though he was a member of the Vanguard. I had made each and every Baron pay for their part and closed that book for good.
Narrator: At least I thought I did. I was ready to do it all over again as I released a deep breath and tried to sight in again on Uldren. He was just sitting on the top of the cliff, looking out over the EDZ. I had a clear shot at his head, and if I took the shot, I could probably get to his ghost before he was rezzed. If I could just take the shot. My hand wouldn't move. My finger frozen in place. My eyes suddenly went blurry and I slumped down against the crate. My rifle slipped off the side landing gently in a bush next to me, still hissing with the cold power of the 4X Honed Edge loaded. Why couldn't I take the shot? Why did I freeze? I peeled my helmet off my head and tossed it aside, trying to catch the breath I had lost when I sighted him the first time. My chest was heaving and I was sweating with a cold burn on my lips as my Ghost came in close.
Ghost: “Guardian, he's leaving.”
Narrator: I looked up to see him jogging toward Niobe Labs. I scrambled for my helmet and shoved it above my head and started after him. This made no sense. How in the world did he end up here? I pulled the trigger myself. I watched his eyes go dark. As much as I hated killing a fellow Awoken, I hated losing Cayde more. I was his partner. Petra and I were on his fireteam. I was sure by now it spotted me. I wasn't exactly trying to be stealthy. My noisy anxiety probably didn't help. The rocky terrain and his Hunter mobility made it difficult to keep up with him, but I knew we were both headed to the same place, so it wasn't a huge priority to keep a visual on him. As we came into the dingy halls at the abandoned Niobe Labs, I stopped running and pulled out my auto rifle.
Titan: [speaking to Ghost] “Keep recording.”
Ghost: “I haven't stopped. Do you have any idea what's going on?”
Narrator: I ignored him.
Ghost: “Guardian.”
Narrator: I entered the main portion of the lab that led into the Berguisa Forge. The Forge door was still sealed shut, but I could hear someone inputting data into a control panel. Maybe it was to open the massive steel doors to the Forge. I couldn't see which one was being used.
Titan: [yelling] “Uldren!”
Narrator: I yelled. I saw a shadow above me move left to right. I didn't hear a weapon being armed, which surprised me, so I holstered my own.
Titan: “Uldren! How did you do it? How did you survive that headshot?”
Uldren: “I don't remember the name the way everyone else does. Is that how I came to be?”
Narrator: Came a mild voice after a short pause.
Ghost: [whispering] “Guardian, I-I'm sensing light here, light that isn't mine.”
Uldren: “The Traveler is an interesting being.”
Narrator: The voice said- I could feel it getting closer and moving behind me.
Uldren: “It only poses questions to us. Never really answering. You feel it, too. Don't you, cousin?”
Narrator: I spun around as a figure stepped from the shadows behind me. It was Uldren. We stood there for a few seconds. I could see him trying to figure out why he almost recognized me. As if there was a faded echo of an old decision bouncing around his head that he couldn't quite hear. We stood there for what felt like forever but was probably a few seconds. My mind raced in circles, yet I never felt the need to draw my weapon. I was more curious than anything else right now. I could sense him sizing me up, trying to find the threads to piece together the picture in his mind- the blurry memory that had momentarily brushed against his consciousness. It was almost like he was looking through the stained glass window of the past, trying to build a thousand-piece puzzle with only two edge pieces. He turned away for a moment and then looked back at me…
Uldren: “Who answers questions the Traveler poses?”
Narrator: I furrowed my brow in confusion at his query, but I decided to entertain the thought.
Titan: “We do. That's why the Traveler chooses us.”
Narrator: Then his brow furrowed.
Uldren: “But what if I don't understand the question? Who helps me understand the questions better?”
Titan: “That was the job of the Speaker, but we don't have one anymore. Not after the Red War.”
Uldren: “The Red War?”
Narrator: His face twisted as if searching his mind for that whisp of a lost memory again. He sounded almost… innocent. This made no sense to me. He was there. The Sovs watched as we Guardians lost our Light and got it back. I couldn't lie to myself any longer. He was really chosen by the Traveler. My Ghost finally spoke up and broke the tenuous silence.
Ghost: “Why are you here in Niobe Labs?”
Uldren: “I need the weapons from this Forge. With the Forges being shut down soon I've been collecting schematics and selling them back to Ada for supplies, armor, and other necessities.”
Ghost: [sounding amazed] “You've been back to the tower?”
Uldren: “Multiple times. Ada pays well. Even better than that rat, Drifter. All he wants are those stupid motes of light and dark. Little man has no idea what he's playing with.”
Narrator: I still needed one more thing from him.
Titan: “Where’s your ghost?”
Narrator: He opened his hand in front of me and his ghost appeared.
Uldren: “We've cracked about 85% of the files here. This little light's been quite helpful.”
Uldren’s Ghost: “Hello.”
Ghost: [sounding skeptical] “Hello.”
Uldren: “I know darkness is coming...”
Narrator: Uldren said, putting his ghost away.
Uldren: “...but if the Vanguard feels anywhere close to what the general human population does about me, I can't show my face in the Tower. Will you help me, Cousin?”
Narrator: He put his hand on my shoulder. That's when our connection clicked. I began to feel our Awoken bond reforming in a way that just intensified my inner turmoil. He killed Cayde. He took the Light away from a fellow Guardian. Then I killed him. It was supposed to be simple. Then the Traveler went and complicated everything. Uldren was here for a reason. Why? What am I supposed to do with him? Why does the Light always feel like the overbearing parent constantly teaching you lessons you don't need or want? How am I supposed to grow my strength in the Light if I'm stopping to ponder the cosmic reasons behind events in my life? I'm not a Warlock. Books are something I use as a coaster for my drink. I'm a Titan. We do the heavy lifting and make fun of the Hunters who have to be sneaky and stealthy in order to accomplish anything meaningful. Yet here I am attempting to answer questions like I'm a professor in a Paracausal Philosophy 101 class. School is not in session and I'm no teacher. I'm a soldier on the frontline of a war that has yet to begin in earnest. If Zavala had ever taught me anything, it was that the time wasted on these matters of the heart were distractions from our ultimate purpose as Guardians. And yet, I could see how neglecting those matters had driven both Zavala and Ikora apart, and away from the Light. It was a truly insidious disease disguising itself as courage and strength while slowly eating us away from within. I had to find it in me to forgive him. Somehow and some way I had to forgive him. That realization shook me harder than a thunder crash into Morgeth, but the truth was something I never shied away from in any situation.
Narrator: I looked into his eyes. Deep, deep into his eyes. I saw nothing of the old pain and rage he possessed. The burning rage that unleashed the full force of the Barons and shook the vanguard to its very core, was no longer there. I looked harder trying to find any reason to rekindle that burning fire of vengeance once more. I had undertaken many missions that were based solely on payback, but the fire from this one had long since faded. There was no more anger to feed it. There was not a hint of the smug arrogance that infuriated me. Each time I thought of him, I saw nothing of the Awoken bastard that killed my friend. I saw a Cousin who needed my help. He knew the Darkness was coming and was trying in his own way to contribute. Zavala once told me that self-mastery is really the one true path that the Traveler has for us. That everything else was only a distraction. This was right after we rezzed following his smashing a group of new Guardians with his Fists of Havoc. It was a lesson that was never lost on me. Perhaps it was because I felt it differently than most because of who said it.
Titan: [speaking aloud] This will take some work.
